Christmas Gifts

“What are the humans up to now, Oscar? They are getting these little socks down from the tree.”

“I do not know, though they keep looking at us and laughing. This cannot be good for us,” sighed Oscar.

The humans placed 3 very small Christmas stockings on the floor, each one of them fat and full of goodies for the kittens. Schottzie was the first to approach, sniffing cautiously at first before sticking her nose into a stocking as far as she could get it.

“Hey, what is she doing?” cried out Olivia. “She seems to be very excited about some old socks. Oscar? Oscar?!?”

“Mmmpf mmm pfff yummffff”, mumbled Oscar as he too stuck his nose into one of the stockings on the floor.

“These stockings are delicious, Olivia, you must try one.”

Olivia carefully approached the last remaining stocking, first tapping on it with her paw, then sniffing carefully.

“Ooooo that smells delicious!” yelled Olivia. “And these are full of toy mice! So this is what Christmas is. These humans have done very well with this holiday.”

“Sure”, mumbled Oscar. “Christmas is delicious."

Cupboard Raid

“Olivia, I think I know where they hide the treats”.

“Are you sure Oscar?”

“Of course I am sure; watch this”

Oscar jumps onto the counter, and with a few flicks of his paw the cupboard door opens.

“Oooo, listen to how this package crinkles. This must be it.”

“Oscar, be careful…..eeek!”

The package, along with many smaller containers, come tumbling onto the floor.

“Oscar, you idiot, you almost killed us”

“Calm down, everything went according to plan. Now if only I could get into these…”

“Here we are. Uhh oh, these are not our treats!”

“Oscar, these are human cookies.”

“You kittens are foolish!”yelled Schottzie, “I will now shat on the floor to punish you for your foolishness”

Eeeeeeeeeeee…..thump.

“Ewwww. Run Oscar, it stinks like your butt in here”

Christmas Tree

Today was a very interesting day around here. The larger human brought into the house a very big bag that looked very heavy. It made a very fun, crinkly sound, so Oscar and I both had fun jumping on and off of it. The large human did not think it to be so much fun, and before long we had been banished from this bag by the human.

The human opened up the bag, which made a strange sound while it was opening. The human pulled out of the bag these little green sticks that looked like tree branches. Oscar and I went over to have a sniff, and these things smelled nothing like the branches of a tree. They looked like the branches of a tree, which made this very confusing. Ahhhh HAHHHHI yelled as I leapt into the bag. Ahhh HAHHHH! Oscar followed and jumped on me.

Oooo, these branches are so soft, and playing in this bag is so much fun. The human is not paying any attention to us, as he begins to connect the branches to a big, green stick. Hmm, it almost looks like….no, it cannot be. Can this human really be making a tree…inside….for us? Oooo my goodness, how wonderful a gift this will be! I wonder why the human is starting at the top. It does make for a funny looking tree.

After some time, the tree began to take shape. Olivia, tired out from playing in the bag was napping. I, however, knew that this bag would lead to great things, and decided to conserve my energy. Oh boy, was I correct in my thinking. I went to the sandbox to do, um, cat things, and upon my return behold! A tree has now sprouted up inside of our house. I ran as fast as I could and was soon to the top of the tree.

The first thing I noticed about this tree was that it was much more difficult to climb. The trees outside have thick branches towards the inside, and they get thinner as you move away from the tree. This tree had branches that stayed very thin no matter where you went. Also, the branches were very shiny and cold, as if they were covered in ice. Very, very, strange.

When I woke up, I found my brother straddling this tiny little branch at the top of the now built tree. It was hysterical to watch him attempt to move around up there. After watching him struggle, I decided to go and show him how to climb a tree properly.

Olivia, you…..you came to show me how to climb? You may have come to the tree; you may have climbed the tree, but your method of dismounting the tree sort of discounts your expert status. Howling for a human to lift you down, or jumping from the top to the ground are not “expert” methods of tree climbing.

Oscar, if you don’t stop this instant….

You will do what? Climb a tree to hide?

Ugh! I am out of here!!!!!

I cannot wait to see how she climbs with lights on the tree

Oscar! I heard you….

She’s Back!

The days and nights were dragging as I waited for Olivia to come home. I could hear the wind howling outside, making me think about how cold, hungry, and alone she must be. The howling wind was frustrating as I could not hear if she was meowing below the windows. What if she needed my help? How would I hear her with all of the noise the winds were making?

The morning has now come for the third time since I have last seen my sister. The humans continued to leave the door open in this little house they call a garage, and had left her bed, food, and water in the garage in case she came home and we could not hear her. I have not slept, eaten, or played very much. The humans spent time yesterday walking around outside, as I checked the windows and waited for any sound that could possibly be her.

The larger human walked around outside for a little bit before leaving for the day, leaving the bed, food, and water in the garage for her just in case. The smaller human stayed home for a while, and was getting ready to leave, when we heard it. Meeeeeooooowwwwww! Meeeeeooooowwwwww! Meeeeeooooowwwwww! Meeeeeooooowwwwww ! Olivia had come back!

Quickly we raced down the stairs, and the door opened, and there she was! My sister had come back home! Without saying a word, she darted up the stairs and went straight for the food bowl. She ate as if she had not eaten for three days.

Oscar, that is because I had not eaten for three days. There was no food inside of this garage that I was stuck in.

You silly kitten, you worried me so much! You cannot go anywhere without me anymore, Olivia. I will shadow you no matter what when we go outside.

Stop biting me Oscar!

I will stop only if you promise to stay close to me when we are outside.

Ok, ok, I promise.

Where, Oh Where, Can She Be?

The day began as it always does; we begin to play when the sun comes up, we eat, make some brownies in the sand, and find a warm soft place in which to lie down and nap. This day was a little different, though, as one of the humans was home much longer than normal. This allowed us to go outside in the morning to play and to hunt, which was a nice change for us.

Later that afternoon, being tired from all of the running around my sister and I were doing, I settled in for a little nap. When I woke up, it was nearly dark, and my sister was nowhere to be found. The humans were not worried, but I was. She had never gone out by herself before, so I did not know where she could be. Making things worse, the humans were not letting me out to go and look for her.

It began to grow darker, and I could tell that now the humans were beginning to worry. Olivia has never been gone this long by herself. I wished that I could go out to look for her. The big human grabbed this little stick that makes light, and soon went outside. It was some time before he came back, but when he did there was still no Olivia. The humans and I were checking the windows off and on for most of the night, and they would occasionally leave with this lighted stick, but soon the night was coming to an end, and still no Olivia.

The night was long, cold, and lonely. And quiet; very, very, quiet. When the next morning finally came, the big human went outside with me to look around. I sniffed at all of Olivia’s favorite places, and could not find a trace of her. The human was looking everywhere, including in the trees and on roofs, but no sigh of Olivia could be found. Where could this sister on mine be?

Mice, nature’s Scooby snack

As the weather has grown colder, we are starting to see more toys running outside than ever before. This has been very wonderful for my sister and I, as these toys are both very fun to play with and very delicious to eat.

There are many of these little things around the buckets that the humans throw our brownies in. Every time I am outside, I can always find a pawful of these little things. Olivia does not have much interest in them, so I get to have them all to myself. These toys, which the humans refer to as “mice”, are very strange. They always want me to chase them at first, and even let me flip them in the air after I catch them so that we can start the game again. Eventually, though, they begin to slow down, and finally stop playing. I try to make them play some more, but they refuse to move, so I eat them.

These things are just everywhere it seems, especially at night. One night I was playing with two of these at the same time, but the humans came out and made me come back inside. Perhaps the next time I see them I will sneak one or two inside and hide them as pets.

Bringing Home Pets

On a wonderful day a couple weeks ago, while sniffing around a tree with my sister, something moved in the tree that caught my eye. It was a lonely, little, chipmunk that appeared to have lost its way. It looked just like one of the toys my sister and I play with when we are in the house, so I stalked in for a closer look. Oh, it looked so delicious! The little thing stopped in its tracks, thanks to my sister’s wonderfully graceful tree climbing technique. I swear she could wake the dead with all the noise she makes in those branches.

Once the sound machine that is my sister moved on, the chipmunk began to move around again, looking for food I would imagine. To my surprise, it began to move right towards me! I slouched down in the shadows and waited. I could see it slowly but methodically moving down the trunk of the tree towards me, pausing to sniff the air on occasion. When it hit the ground, I knew it was mine! I pounced on it from my hiding place, and grabbed it in my mouth. It wiggled a bit, but eventually knew its fate was sealed. I finally had a pet of my own!

To celebrate this achievement, I walked through the neighborhood, strutting, proudly taking my prize home with me. When I arrived at home, though, the humans became very worried and started to chase me. Up the stairs I went, humans in tow, and when I dropped my prize, they went after it. Ahh, now I see, they want to play with my new pet, too. All of a sudden I was whisked away to a room and closed in by myself. I heard my pet and the humans running around for a bit, and then, just silence. When I was let out, my pet was gone. Sigh. Oh well, guess I will have to hide it next time.

Big Steps

We have many, many adventures to speak of since our last post. The humans have been very busy, going this way and that way, but we have never felt more happy and excited as we are now. As we grow bigger, they let us play outside for longer periods of time; even leaving us by ourselves. We are good kittens though, and never stray too far from home. Well, except for that bat brother of mine. The very tall one was worried last week. He needed to leave in the thing that carries us around, like he does every morning, but that brother of mine…..

Oh, be quiet Olivia, queen of the cats that cannot climb. (hehehehe) Did she mention the fall from the tree with no branches? There was a human ready to catch her, but instead she jumps where the fence is and looses a big chunk of hair. Oscar, you are one to talk, with all of the slurping and kneading you do on the human’s clothes. Sigh. Do any of you have a brother like this?

So, Oscar’s “comments” aside, we went through our first period of time without the humans. We saw the sun rise and set two times before we saw the humans again. The first time we saw the sunrise was very fun, we could run and play and fart all we wanted without the humans making us stop. Hehehe, Oscar even laid on one of the pillows in the bedroom. It was a little lonely after this, though, and we missed going outside on the second day. This big fluffy thing they call a cat was trying to give us orders. Pfft, indeed, if we do not listen to the humans, you certainly have no chance.

It was not that bad, Olivia. She was just not happy when you tried to ride her like a horse.

Oscar, that was you.

Uhh, oh yeah. Hahahah, that was a lot of fun!

Hmm, yeah, fun. Thanks for getting me blamed for it, you little bat! Anyway…..the humans eventually came home and let us out for a very long overdue play, not to mention to de-stink our very stinky sand. Why this big fluffy one makes brownies on the floor in front of the sand is still not understood by me.

After a few more days, the larger human packed up many things into the thing that carries us, and went missing for many sun rises and sunsets. The shorter human remained with us, and we had such a blast. We were able to come and go as we pleased without the humans watching us for almost five hours each day! We would play until we were tired, and would come home to eat, get water, and to make puddles or brownies. These humans must be so proud of us for doing this, since we are not getting the outside part dirty with the stuff that comes out of our behinds.

So today we were out playing with the smaller human, and we were introduced to another small human, which I think was a boy….I am still trying to learn this boy and girl thing the humans refer to all the time. They call Olivia a girl, and I a boy. This is very confusing to me.

Oscar, you goofball, get back to the story, I am hungry and one of the humans left sausage in the feeding place.

Sigh, fine, stinky butt. So this little human comes up and wants to pet us. My sister and I are not sure of this one, so we are very cautious. Eventually though, we see that he is somewhat friendly. We became much more relaxed and eventually began to play with this human. He was very nice, and my sister and I had a blast playing many chasing games with him. When he left we were a little sad, but then after some time he came back to play with us some more. He is very nice and we hope to play with him again.

The Week That Was

This week was very exciting for us, even though Oscar is still a little baby, sucking on all of the clothes that the humans leave lying around, and even the clothes that they are wearing. It was exciting for us because we received a new house! It is a very big house, almost like a tree without all of the leaves and small branches, but it is not so big that it cannot fit easily into the human’s house and still leave us with plenty of room to play.

We have only played on it very briefly, as there were problems during construction that the humans were able to fix after they were gone for a long time today. We cannot wait to spend more time exploring and playing with it. They also brought us a strange water faucet that sits on the floor. The water now tastes very good, but I wish they would move into the big room with the soft floor; the ambiance is so much better in there than in the food room.

As I write this, that little bat brother of mine is begging for food. His food philosophy is that what is yours is mine and what is mine is mine. The humans feed us all very well, but he wants to taste anything and everything the world has to offer. I wish I could do that but after all a girl needs to watch her figure.

Ugh, do any of you have a sister like mine? Sheesh, this is from a girl that almost made the humans late for work because she was scared to come out of a tree. I am happy that I do not have her habit of crawling under the human’s blankets at night and licking their feet. Sigh. She left out the best thing that happened to me; I got to ride in a car in a trip that did not involve the lady with the cold thing in my butt or moving. The wheeled animal they ride in was so soft everywhere, it was a shame that it ended so soon!

Oscar, you drove 100 feet…that is not a big deal to the readers out there. I like to lick the humans, and your butt for that matter, because I like the human or cat I am going to snuggle next to as clean as possible. At least you are getting better covering your brownies.

Thunder and Lightning

Oscar is such a little baby. Not too many nights ago, the silence of the night was broken up by many flashes of light followed by the sound of loud crashes. We both got up to investigate what was all happening; at least that is what I thought. It turns out that I went to investigate this on my own as Oscar jumped into the sleeping place of our humans. After the third loud crash made the house shake, I quickly joined him to see if the humans could make stop whatever was going on. What I found when I got there was very alarming to me. The kitten that insisted he was a grown up, a protector, and a hunter was, um, sucking on the smaller human’s shirt as if he was trying to get mama’s milk. Her shirt was very wet by the time I had arrived there.

Quiet, Olivia, you have no idea what you are talking about. I ran to the humans to make sure that they were safe and not scared. I thought that this woman was scared, so I started lick and knead her.

Yes, sure you were Oscar, sure you were. Do you remember the first time these noises happened? You jumped in the air and sprayed your pee while airborne. You are still a little baby…I even have to clean both you and the litter box after you use it.

This is coming from a kitten who is too scared to come down from the tree when she climbs it? Who is the first kitten to leave the yard? I am. You have never even set foot in the area behind the house. As far as the peeing in the air thing, it felt as if the world exploded around us when that noise was made, and you ran and hid under the bed afterwards. That was a scary night for all of us, since both of the humans were also very scared most of the night.

The thing about Olivia is that she is part sister, part mother, and part housekeeper. She cleans everything, and I mean everything. I will be in the litter box, playing in the sand after making some brownies, and she comes along to cover it all up so that I cannot play anymore. To add insult to injury, she then licks my butt, and blames me for her bad breath. This sister of mine is a piece of work.

Oscar, I would not have to clean up after you if you covered your “brownies” like a normal cat. The whole world knows when you make brownies; I have seen birds fall from the sky because of you making brownies.

Other than the issues that bug us so much, we are enjoying our time here very much. Even this big cat, the one they call “Paw”, is hissing at us less and less every day. When she does hiss, it is usually Oscar’s fault for chasing her or playing with her tail. The humans take us outside at least once a day to play, but we are growing anxious to begin climbing some of the bigger trees. Each time we try, the humans quickly pick us up and bring us back to the bushes. One day those trees will be ours.

Settling In....

My sister and I are now beginning to settle into our new routine. We wake up with the sun, then try to wake up the humans so that we can eat breakfast. These humans are so strange; they are not very playful during this fun and exciting time of day. Eventually, though, this really loud and annoying sound comes out of nowhere, and the humans finally awaken. My sister and I have been practicing this "BEEEEEEP BEEEEEP BEEEEEP" sound but we do not have it down just yet.

Once they are awake, there are these things that appear underneath the soft floor they sleep in. These are very fun to catch, but we are scratching our ears as to why, on occasion, the humans make a very loud and sharp sound when you catch one of these things.

After a while of this, the humans begin to move around, and they finally give us some breakfast. Occasionally, the shorter one will let us play in nature for a little bit before we return to this place in which we spend most of our time. It has been nicer in here, as we now have more space to run and play during the day. For some reason, the big room that has the soft ground is blocked when the humans are away or are asleep. This is troubling to us, as the big branches that look out over the trees are in there.

Oscar, you have not told them about your problem? No, Olivia I have not. Fine, then I will.

So, living with Oscar is sometimes annoying. He likes to play much more than I do, and he stinks like butt. When he goes to the bathroom, it sounds and smells like something was run over. I thought that it should be solid, but instead his makes a lake in the sand. Very gross! Ugh! Brothers! Stop biting me you bat!

Do not be jealous that I look sleek like a bat. Of course I like to play, you are only a kitten once in your life. So, anyway, back to our days here. We get to go out to nature at least once per day, and we are able to climb higher and higher into the trees. At least, until a couple of days ago when the humans did something to our paws. Our claws are still there, but we just cannot get as good of a grip on the tree as we used to.

We are both hoping to get into the area with the soft ground, and for our claws to change again so that we can resume our climbing practice.

The trip to?

OSCAR: Things happened so very fast for us to get here. I jumped into this strange looking bag, then suddenly heard this ziiiiiipppppp sound. My sister Olivia quickly came to the side of this bag, and began sniffing and asking if I was ok. These human creatures, a big one with strange bright eyes that come off, and one that is smaller yet still very big to us began to make these very strange sounds. The next thing I knew, my sister Olivia was in the bag with me, and the bag began to fly.

OLIVIA: I was not asking if you were ok, I was wanting what you were eating. These human creatures have the most delicious things to eat.

OSCAR: This is my story, tell yours to someone else.

OLIVIA: Hmmmpf.

OSCAR: Now, where was I. I remember the bag landing on the rocks we used to play on. My mother came racing after us, telling us not to go. We were both telling her that everything is fine, we are just playing. All I can remember after that was the bag flying into a thing that humans seem to ride in, being given some milk in a place surrounded by grass, and lots of loud wind for what seemed to be an eternity.

OLIVIA: What about the part about you crying the whole way?

OSCAR: That was you, uh, stepping on my tail. Sisters are something else.

OLIVIA: Whatever. Anyway, I am telling the story tomorrow, so stay tuned....